Monday, August 14, 2006
a touching story...
On my wedding day, I carried my wife
in my arms.
The bridal car stopped in
front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that
I carry her out of
the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home.
She was then plump and
shy.
I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was
the scene of ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of
pure water: we had a kid, I
went into business and tried to make more
money. When the assets were
steadily increasing, the affections between us
seemed to ebb. She was a
civil servant. Every morning we left home together
and got home almost at
the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding
school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.
But the calm life was more
likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony.
Dew hugged me from
behind. My heart once again was immersed in her
stream of love. This was
the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, you are the kind of man who best
draws girls. Her words suddenly
reminded me of my wife. When we just married,
my wife said, Men like you,
once successful, would be very attractive to girls.
Thinking of this, I
became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed
my wife. But I couldnt
help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said, you go to
select some furniture, O.K.?
I 've got something to do in the company.
Obviously she was unhappy,
because I had promised her to go and see with
her. At the moment, the idea
of divorce became clearer in my mind although it
used to be something
impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife
about it. No matter
how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be
deeply hurt. Honestly, she
was a good wife. Every evening she was busy
preparing dinner. I was
sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready
soon. Then we watched TV
together.
Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing
Dew's body. This was
the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way,
suppose we divorce, what
will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds
without a word.
Apparently she believed that divorce was
something too far away from her.
I couldnt imagine how she would react
once she
got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just
stepped out. Almost all the
staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and
tried to hide something
while talking with her. She seemed to have got
some hint. She gently
smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in
her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, Divorce her, O.K.?
Then we live together. I
nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her
hand. I 've got something to
tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt
in her eyes. Suddenly I didnt know how
to open
my mouth. But I had to let
her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I
raised a serious topic
calmly.
She didnt seem to be much annoyed
by my
words, instead she asked me
softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question.
This so-called answer
turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks
and shouted at me, you are
not a man!
At that night, we didnt talk to each other.
She
was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our
marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart
had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement, which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30%
stake of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a
pain in my heart. The
woman who had been living ten years with me
would become a stranger one
day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was
what I had expected to
see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce,
which had obsessed me for several weeks,
seemed to be firmer and clearer.
A late night, I came back home after entertaining
my clients. I saw her
writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast.
When I woke up, I
found she was still there. I turned over and was
asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she
didnt
want anything from me,
but I was supposed to give her one month's time
before divorce, and in the
month's time we must live as normal life as
possible. Her reason was
simple: our son would finish his summer vacation
a month later and she
didn't want him to see our marriage was
broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and
then asked me, do you still
remember how I entered our bridal room on the
wedding day? This question
suddenly brought back all those wonderful
memories to me.
I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in
your arms, she continued,
so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out
in your arms on the
day when we divorce. From now to the end of this
month, you must carry me
out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those
sweet days and wished to
end her marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions.
She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she
does, she has to face the
result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words
more or less made me
feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since
my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. We even treated each other
as a stranger. So when I
carried her out for the first day, we both appeared
clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in
his arms. His words brought
me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the
sitting room, then to the
door, I walked over ten meters with her in my
arms. She closed her eyes
and said softly, let us start from today, don t tell
our son. I nodded,
feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait
for bus, I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more
easily. She leaned on my
chest. We were so close that I could smell the
fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I had not looked at this intimate
woman carefully for a long
time. I found she was not young any more. There
were some fine wrinkles
on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside
garden is being
demolished. Be careful when you pass there.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to
feel that we were
still an intimate couple and I was holding my
sweetheart in my arms. The
visualization of Dew became more vague.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me
something, such as,
where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful
while cooking, etc. I
nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
I didnt; tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the
everyday workout made me
stronger. I said to her, it seems not difficult to carry
you now.
She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to
carry her out. She tried
quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then
she sighed, all my
dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly
realized that it was
because she was thinner that I could carry her
more easily, not because I
was stronger. I knew she had buried all the
bitterness in her heart.
Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I
reached out a hand to
touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to
carry mum out. He said.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out
had been an essential
part of his life. She gestured our son to come
closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I
would change my mind at
the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from
the bedroom, through
the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came
back to our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could
hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I
hope you will hold me in
your arms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said, both you and I
didnt
notice that our life
was lack of such intimacy. I jumped out of the car
swiftly without locking
the door. I was afraid any delay would make me
change my decision. I
walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to
her, Sorry, Dew, I won't
divorce. I'm serious.
She looked at me, astonished. The she touched
my forehead. You got no
fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I can
only say sorry to you, I wont divorce. My
marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didnt value
the
details of life, not because
we didnt love each other any more. Now
I
understand that since I carried
her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am
supposed to hold her
until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me
a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs
and drove to the
office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I
ordered a bouquet for my wife,
which was her favourite. The salesgirl asked me
to write the greeting
words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I 'll carry
you out every morning
until we are old.
Sometimes we are so comfortable living in the
love showered by our love
ones that we take things for granted. It takes a
true heart to give and
sacrifice, so treasure and never shatter it. Cheers
and have a lovely week
ahead!
sorrow kills smile like how i kill u.